Home Renovation Revenge

I’ve been subscribed to ‘Good Homes and Kitchens’ magazine for 6 months now and I can’t get enough. I get it every single week, because when it comes to light journalism, crossword quizzes, funny write-in stories and home renovation tips, it’s the absolute best. They’ve also recently started posting a saucy hot take on the latest episode of Week of Our Lives, and this week it was extra saucy. Man, that IS my dream job.

I guess this week was all to do with kitchens, kitchen makeovers, kitchen renovations and ancient betrayals coming back to wreak havoc in the modern era, so it fits. Thematically.

Judith was researching the history of Realsville for a play she’s writing about the town’s founding, and she accidentally uncovered the terrible truth: that her ancestors were innocent merchant sailors who had all of their gold stolen by the Pork Chop Pirates, who are Jennifer’s ancestors. That’s Judith’s best friend, but as soon as she read that, she knew that the burden of revenge now fell to her.

So you’ve got Jennifer trying to custom design her own kitchen, but Judith sneaks in at night and alters all the plans, so Jennifer ends up with a kitchen that has the stove right over the cutlery drawer (so annoying for anyone trying to set the table) the dishwasher blocking the plates cupboard when the door is open (ugh, what a pain!) and a sharp corner right above the spice drawer, so there’s a least a 25% chance every time you stand up that you’re going to whack your head on it.

This was a terrible revenge, but Judith isn’t finished yet! She’s currently planting orchids in Jennifer’s garden by night, ones that are really hard to get rid of that’ll soak up all the water from Jennifer’s precious petunias. “There are no depths to which this villain will not sink!” it said in the magazine, and I agree. First she tramples on the good name of Melbourne’s kitchen renovation professionals…and now she’s gunning for the petunias. Hot drama indeed.