Begone, Ear Spiders

Turns out that spiders don’t lay eggs in people’s ears, at least not as often as you might believe just going by viral videos. Like, I was convinced that human ears were the main source of spider egg plantations, but apparently it’s pretty rare. And that’s why it’s in the viral videos! Because it’s a rare event and not regular. Wow, the more you know, eh?

This conference has cleared up a lot of misconceptions I had about insects and other pests, actually. My parents sent me along under the advisement of my therapist, because I used to be so bad that I saw an ant and freaked out. They had all these consultants from companies that are experts bust myths about insects that have wormed their way into the modern consciousness. These people I can trust completely as they are experts in pest control. Mornington and Berwick have their fair share of pest problems. Did you know that termites can now be dealt with quickly and efficiently, as opposed to finding one termite and having to burn the house down? I’ve gotten close, back when my phobias were quite irrational. Didn’t have to be termites; I’d find a cockroach, or a wing, or a little row of ants, and I’d get a mad urge to just…burn it all. Burn it to the ground. That little voice would be saying ‘don’t bother calling the pest control people. I, with my arcane knowledge, have declared that it is too late and even professionals cannot help you in this case. You found a fly wing. It’s over. Just set it all ablaze.’

Yeah, I was a bit of a psycho. But I’ve worked through it, and the pest control conference was fascinating. Met some great contacts as well, so now if I encounter a cockroach, I know some reputable pest control expert based in Berwick who can help me out without tear down my home, or dousing everything with salt. I still get the URGE, but I can repress it, and that’s progress.