Thanks for the Prayer, Or Not

Well, it finally happened. I put a post on Facebook telling people to pray for my Grandma because she was sick in hospital. She began to get stronger, and then I politely asked everyone to stop praying because it was working a little bit too well. When the nurse gave her a bit of snark, Grandma sat right up in bed and grabbed her by the throat. Took two of us to get her off. And now she’s broken out of the hospital, stolen a motorbike and is planning to travel to Aruba, without a boat. I think she’s just going to swim the whole way and start a new life, which means the will is pretty much a bust.

Guess I’m not getting a house then. I was so looking forward to getting on the property ladder in Melbourne. Buyers advocate companies were already picked out, because Grandma is holding onto some serious assets and I have no idea how to look for high-end property…at all. Like, they should teach you this stuff in school. There should have been classes on how to negotiate the price of a three-story plantation-style home in Melbourne’s trendy north, as well as how to find this sort of thing outside of the standard home search. Some of this stuff can be really exclusive, you know. They don’t advertise it to literally anyone…no, you need to be part of the special group, who have the special knowledge. That’s why we need the property advocate of course, because they HAVE the special knowledge, and are part of the special group. In fact, I’d say all of the property advocates operating in Melbourne have the same privileges, because it’s their JOB.

But I don’t know if I’m ever going to meet with them. Grandma is probably halfway across the pacific by now. And while I’m no map expert, I don’t even think that’s the right way.