Obtaining My Prize

“Give me my dang snapper rack!” I said, walking toward Cuthbert and the strange window repairman. “I just want to unite the lost pieces of the Atlantis and appease my patron.”

Cuthbert shook his head and kept a hand on the snapper rack. “That’s the thing, friend. The Heart of the Deep isn’t what you think it is. It is a dark, twisted entity that wants only to destroy the world and everything good in it. If you unite the lost pieces of the Atlantis, you’ll be consumed by greed and hatred, ascending to become a deity he will use to destroy everything you love.”

“And what’s the problem with that?” I said.

Cuthbert’s jaw dropped open. “You mean, you want to become a dark deity? You don’t seem the least bit surprised about any of this. What do you think, o master of double hung window installation, repairs and replacement?”

The travelling window repairman nodded. “Most strange, indeed.”

“You don’t think I would have worked that out on my own?” I said. “Ominously dark voice, leviathan deep in the ocean? My patron obviously wasn’t the Tooth Fairy. Now give me the snapper rack so I can ascend to my dark throne!”

The window master stood and raised his hands, palms in the air. “Look, this is between you guys. I’m off to magically deliver my window frame replacement services. Melbourne needs me for that. Cuthbert, if you win this fight, you know how to find me.”

“Wait,” I said, “why do you even want this snapper rack, if not to stop me from appeasing my patron?”

He shrugged. “It’s a nice looking snapper rack. Can’t an immortal window repairman have an interest in fishing?” He left us there, not so much as looking back.

“It’s just you and me, Cuthbert. According to the mechanic I visited, you’re immortal too. So, are we going to fight for this thing or what?”

Cuthbert narrowed his eyes. “You know what? Stuff it,” he said, taking the snapper rack from his back and thumping it on the table. “You can have it. I’ve been trying to stop people from obtaining dark power for centuries. But if you want it that badly, it’s all yours.” He stormed off.

Well, that was easy enough.